Why This One Thing You're Doing on Social Media (and in life) Is the Biggest Clue of Why You Haven't Received the Love You Want Yet

samantha francis
Apr 14
5 min read

You've been doing everything right. Or so you think…

You've worked on yourself. You've read the books. You've listened to the podcasts. You've even invested in coaching programs that promised to help you attract "the one."

And yet, here you are, scrolling through social media late at night, wondering why that deep, meaningful connection still feels just out of reach…

Let me ask you something: Have you found yourself nodding along to, liking, or even resharing those viral posts about "why men do this" or "what men really mean when they say that"?

You know the ones I'm talking about:

"Men only want one thing..." "He is a narcissist when he does this..." "Good men no longer exist..."

If you answered yes, I've identified the invisible barrier standing between you and the love you truly deserve.

The Hidden Pattern in Your Social Media Behaviour

As an expert who's guided thousands of women to transform their love and relationship areas, I've noticed a pattern that's so subtle yet so powerful that most women never even realise it's there.

Every time you engage with content that generalises, criticises, or creates sweeping narratives about men, you're unconsciously reinforcing a silent belief system that's sabotaging your chances at love.

Sorry not sorry. Let that land.

That quick tap to like or share isn't just a harmless social media interaction, it's a window into your subconscious beliefs about men and relationships.

Who You Are Now vs. Who You Want to Become

Let's be honest about where you are right now:

You're the woman who's had enough disappointments that these generalisations feel true.

You've been hurt, misled, or let down enough times that these posts resonate with your experiences. You find yourself thinking, "Finally, someone who gets it!"

You're the woman who bonds with friends over these shared frustrations about dating and men. It feels good to know you're not alone, that others understand your experiences.

You're the woman who's trying to protect herself by staying informed about "how men really are", as if collecting enough data points about male behaviour will somehow shield you from future pain.

And I get it, its validating, you feel seen and protected - but it’s validating beliefs that you really don't want to be validated.

Here's who you want to be:

You want to be the woman who attracts a man who adores her, respects her, and chooses her every single day.
You want to be the woman who has deep trust in her relationship, who doesn't constantly question her partner's intentions or worry about being hurt.
You want to be the woman who experiences a love so genuine and fulfilling that it makes all your past relationship struggles worth it.

A love that feels calm, secure and like home.

The gap between these two versions of yourself isn't about finding the right dating app or mastering some secret flirting technique.

It's about something much more fundamental: your relationship with trust.

The Silent Belief Playing Out in Your Background

Every time you engage with content that reinforces negative generalisations about men, you're silently telling yourself: "I don't really trust men."

This isn't a conscious thought. It's a background operating system running your love life without your awareness. And it's blocking the very thing you want most.

Because here's the truth that no one else is telling you: You cannot attract a trustworthy man when you fundamentally don't trust men.

It creates an energetic contradiction. You're simultaneously saying "I want a man I can trust" while reinforcing beliefs that men aren't trustworthy or are unsafe.

This contradiction doesn't just affect how you think, it affects how you show up on dates, how you communicate, the subtle signals you send, and ultimately, the men you attract and the relationships you create.

The Only Solution That Actually Works

As someone who has guided countless women from frustration to fulfilling relationships, I know there's only one path forward, and it's probably not what you've been told before.

The solution isn't just to become more selective (though standards matter). It isn't just to learn better communication skills (though they help). It isn't even to work on your self-love (though that's important too).

The real transformation begins with this: You must intentionally rebuild your trust in men.

This doesn't mean becoming naive or lowering your standards. It means consciously choosing to see men as individuals rather than a category.

It means challenging your own biases and questioning the narratives you've been consuming.

It means:

Becoming aware of your social media habits and how they reflect and reinforce your beliefs
Deliberately seeking out and engaging with content that highlights positive male qualities and healthy relationships
Noticing when you make sweeping generalisations about men and catching yourself
Cultivating relationships with men who demonstrate trustworthiness (not just romantic relationships, friendships count too!)
Healing the specific wounds from your past that have eroded your trust

Your Next Step Forward

If I haven’t triggered you thus far (because most of your friends will NOT tell you this or even see it as its likely you also keep company with people of the same mindset) and what I'm saying resonates with you and you recognise yourself in this pattern, then you're already ahead of most women searching for love.

Awareness is always the first step to transformation.

Your homework starting today is simple but powerful: For the next week, notice every time you're about to engage with negative content about men. Before you like, comment, or share, ask yourself: "Is this reinforcing my trust in men or eroding it?"

This small moment of awareness can be the beginning of a profound shift in your love life as you brain learns to only subscribe to what you want instead of what you don't want and then what happens?

You start to shift your inner lens as you filter information that serves you and you will start to see it show up in your life- exactly how you wanted it to all along.

if you're ready to go deeper, to truly transform not just your social media habits but the underlying beliefs that have been keeping love at arm's length, then my work will support women just like you.

Smart women who are ready to move beyond the frustration. Women who are tired of the same disappointing patterns. Women who know they're meant for a love that defies all those viral posts about "what men really want."

The journey from where you are to where you want to be isn't just about finding the right man, it's about becoming the woman who naturally attracts that kind of love and you empowering yourself with the understanding that you always get to choose- including your thoughts and actions.

And that journey begins with one simple recognition: That thing you've been doing on social media?

And in turn, your life- It's been telling you something important all along.

Ready to shift this now? Contact me and let's see if we are a good fit!

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